Dragon Ball NG Chapter 3: All These Damn Disruptions

It had been an exhausting night. It was only a few hours and Gosu was already pushing Chitsu to her wit's end. Gosu was already awake by the time Chitsu woke up, so she went in to kitchen…to find Gosu sitting at the table with a ton of empty cereal boxes either piled up on the table or on the floor.

"Are you ever not hungry?" Chitsu asked.

"You sure do have a lot of crappy cereal…" Gosu remarked. "It took me a while to find anything good. And I'm tired of wearing these stupid feet pajamas. I feel like a little kid."

"Well, you look like one." Chitsu taunted.

"Hey, don't say that, I'm 14!" Gosu said.

"Woah…you're my age?" Chitsu asked.

Gosu got that silly look on his face. "Well, now, I guess that wouldn't make certain things weird now, would they?"

Chitsu just blew him off. "Oh please, don't get any ideas, pal."

"You really need to get a sense of humor." Gosu pointed out. "Anyway, where are my clothes? Are they still being washed?"

"They should be ready," Chitsu said, "but you can't get them until you clean this mess up!" Chitsu demanded.

"Oh, c'mon! It's not like I'm hurting anything!" Gosu complained.

"Well, where I'm from, we clean up after ourselves." Chitsu said, feeling victorious.

"Fine." Gosu said, mumbling some less than favorable words about her. Chitsu left to get dressed and put on some clothes and do her hair. She decided to wear a blue jacket and cargo shorts. When she left her room, she was surprised to see that the kitchen was clean. Gosu had outdone himself!

"Wow, so you are capable of being clean." Chitsu said.

"Oh, shut up." Gosu didn't want to be viewed as a goody-goody.

Chitsu went to the laundry room and tossed Gosu his clothes. Little did she know, all of the cereal boxes were piled up behind the house. Gosu came out of the laundry room, and Chitsu couldn't help but notice that he had no shoes. "Do you always go barefooted?"

"I guess." Gosu said. "It doesn't really bother me."

"You can't go to public places barefoot, you know." Chitsu said. She looked in her closet and searched for some shoes. She found some blue boots to match his blue pants. "Here, try these on." She said as she tossed them over to Gosu. Gosu put them on and they fit perfectly.

"Hey, I really like these!" He said. "Makes me feel like a real fighter!" He had a huge grin on his face. "Now, time for me to go look for a real breakfast." He said in a snide voice. Gosu left the house and went into the woods, searching for the biggest animal he could find. A saber tooth tiger suddenly ran up to him and tried to jump at him, so Gosu ducked and kicked him square in the head. "Man, I'm getting tired of eating these…" Gosu said, "Oh well, it'll do for now." Just as Gosu was about to pick it up and bring it back to the house, a frog walked up to him. Gosu wanted to avoid stepping on it so he lightly kicked it away. But it came back, this time hopping on his foot. Gosu picked the frog up and said, "Hey, do you want to be an appetizer or something?" Suddenly, the frog got a funny look on its face. Either Gosu was going crazy or this frog was actually smirking at him. As if things couldn't get any weirder, the frog fired a blast from its mouth that hit Gosu's mouth. A bright flash appeared and when it faded, for some reason, Gosu was in a grip and when he looked up, he saw…himself?

Oh, lord.

Gosu looked down. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Because when he looked down, he could've sworn he had the body of a frog. No, he was just imagining things, right? He looked up at himself, and he had an evil smile on his face. He started laughing, and that was definitely a different voice coming from his body. Wait a minute, am I the frog now? He thought. Before he knew it, he was tossed to the ground.

"The time has finally come!" Whoever it was that was in his body said. He started doing a bunch of ridiculous poses. "The great Captain Ginyu has finally returned!" You've got to be fucking kidding me. The things I come up with. Captain Ginyu? Gosu thought. He couldn't believe it. How the hell did a fucking frog switch bodies with him?

Chitsu went outside to check on Gosu. Things did look odd, after all.

"Ah, so you have a friend with you!" Captain Ginyu said.

Wait a minute. Chitsu was confused. Why was Gosu acting so differently now? And why was there a different voice coming from him? "Uh…Gosu, are you okay?"

"I am not this Gosu fellow – I AM CAPTAIN GINYU!" He said with another one of his ridiculous poses. "And how convenient it is that I'm reclaiming my greatness through the body of a descendant of the man who left me in that frog for all those years! I will take revenge for both myself and Lord Frieza!"

Chitsu was completely lost. What did this guy do with Gosu? "Look, I don't know who you or this Frieza guy are, and I don't care!" A frog kept bugging her. Gosu was trying to get through to her. "Just tell me what you did with Gosu!"

"Oh, he's right in front of you!" Ginyu said. What did he mean? She didn't see anyone nearby. Then, the frog from before kept jumping up and trying to draw attention to himself. No way. Chitsu thought. She lifted the frog up. "If you really are Gosu, nod." She said. Gosu nodded. Woah, that's so weird.

"You two have nowhere left to go! I am going to defeat the both of you!" Ginyu said.

Well, this certainly was a predicament. Chitsu couldn't really fight, so what was she going to do? Gosu knew exactly what Chitsu needed to do, but, well, it wasn't like he could talk to her or anything. Dammit, think, stupid! He thought. Remember when you grabbed my tail? He decided to make a gesture with his hands as best as he could. He spread his hands out to sort of visualize a tail and then made a pulling motion.

"What is he trying to say?" Chitsu asked. Gosu started pulling more frantically.

"Prepare yourself!" Captain Ginyu said.

Gosu realized he wasn't getting through, so now he pointed at Ginyu and did the tail pulling motion.

"That's it!" Chitsu said. Gosu was relieved. Now all she had to do was make a plan. "Well, I guess I have no choice. I'm just gonna have to fight you." Now Gosu's joy changed to fear. Maybe she hadn't figured out what he was trying to say. Chitsu set Gosu down as he was incredibly nervous. Then, Chitsu ran towards Ginyu and then ran behind him, and then, she grabbed his tail! Gosu was once againstruck with relief.

"DAMMIT!" Ginyu yelled. "You Saiyans and your stupid weaknesses!"

"I've got you now!" Chitsu said. Ginyu was virtually paralyzed. Then, Chitsu decided to add even more pain. She kicked him squarely in the balls! And then she did it again, and again, and again! Gosu was impressed. Heh, I knew that chick was rough!

"Now give up!" Chitsu said. "Let Gosu back in his body now!"

Ginyu was basically cornered now. What was he gonna do? He was in so much pain, after all. But then, he saw a huge bear walk by. Now's my chance! With what little strength he had left, he spread his arms out. Chitsu caught on quickly. She let go of Ginyu and grabbed Gosu.

"CHANGE…NOW!" Ginyu yelled. A beam shot out of his mouth, and then Chitsu ran and tossed Gosu in the way. There was a huge flash, and when it faded, Gosu's body and the frog were both standing there. Gosu looked down, and saw his own hands again, and his pants, and his shirt. The plan worked! He was back in his old body!

"YES!" Gosu exclaimed. Chitsu was equally relieved. "I'm back in my old body! Oh man, I owe you one, Chitsu! You're tougher than I thought!"

"Yeah, I can be pretty rough when I need to be." Chitsu said. "So, are you ready to leave yet?"

"No, I'm still hungry." Of course.

Meanwhile, in a tower far away from there…

In a room, there was huge map laid out over what appeared to be radar. One area in the map appeared to be blinking.

"There, in range 5113." Said a short, stubby man. He was red and wore long robe that had a kanji symbol written on it. "That's where the four star ball is." He said to his three servants. One was a girl with long blonde hair, the other was a goofy looking anthropomorphic Cat, and the other, who was far more "normal" and serious looking compared to the other two, was a young man with spiky black hair and two bangs in front of his face. He was wearing a black overcoat. "I want you, to get it, Retasu!" he said to the spiky haired kid.

"Yes, sir." He said. He left, displaying tremendous speed. Just then, the short red guy sneezed very loudly, causing snot to fly all over the place. His two servants were disgusted. "Quick, Bobo, get me the extra soft tissue!" Bobo, the cat ran frantically and found the tissue box. "Here, Lord Teba!" Lord Teba grabbed the tissue and blew his nose obnoxiously. "Um, can you at least leave the room?" Bobo asked. Teba looked at him like he was insane. "Oh, sorry sir! I didn't mean to question your actions!"

"You better be sorry." He said. "But no matter, the important task at hand is to retrieve those Dragon balls, Now I have a plan laid out an-" His stomach growled loudly. "Oh man, I shouldn't have eaten all of those spices!" He said, wincing. "Oh God, I have a case of the…loose stools!" Oh lord. "Quick, Reina, direct me to the bathrooms!"

"Um…sir, you built this place, shouldn't you know where your own bathrooms are?" She said.

"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, JUST TELL ME, DAMMIT!" Teba said, holding his ass to hold it in as best as he can. He was frantically running in paces, too. Reina pulled out a map of the tower. "Um, it's all the way on the fifth floor, sir."

"WHAT?" Teba didn't even care anymore. He ran to the elevator. But oddly, after a couple of minutes he came back, even though the trip should've taken about 5 minutes longer than that. He came back in the room looking relieved. "Ah, I feel five pounds lighter." The stench was unbelievable.

"Holy shit!" Bobo said.

"Was that a joke?" Teba demanded. "How dare you say such crude jokes in my presence!"

"Sorry, sir!" Teba said. "It was just your smell, sir-"

"Are you trying to suggest that my smell was anything but delightful?" He asked.

"Um, no sir. It's usually very pleasant, but after your bodily func-"

"SILENCE! We are being distracted from our quest. Don't forget, we need to get all seven Dragon balls so I can make my wish." Teba declared.

"You still haven't even told us what you want to wish for." Reina pointed out.

"That should not matter to you." Teba remarked. "Retasu is being brave and getting the four star ball for us, I suppose we ought to follow him and help him if he needs any." Teba left, and Reina and Bobo followed him. Suddenly, Teba stepped back, directing Reina to open the elevevator. Reina opened it, and was revolted by the horrifying sight she saw.

"Oh God, it's everywhere!" If you thought Teba smelled bad, just wait until you smelled the elevator. Teba had an embarrassed look on his face. "Lord Teba, don't tell me…"

"Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go!" He said. Disgusting. Excuse me while I throw up. "Now clean this up." He had some nerve. Bobo and Reina grabbed some gas masks and pooper scoopers. They cleaned everything up and then sprayed some fresh Febreze in the elevator. But they kept their gas masks on just in case. When they left the tower, Teba pulled a capsule from his pocket and tossed it to the ground, revealing a Jet plane. "Alright, let's go." Teba directed. They hopped in the plane, and teba pressed the control button and flew off.

Back at the forest, Gosu was getting the fire ready to cook his saber tooth tiger. He couldn't wait to eat this. But then, all of a sudden, he felt the ground shaking, and he heard a deep voice say, "Yummy, that smells delicious!" From the forest came a huge, gold Bear with an axe and clothes on. "Do you mind if I eat it?"

Gosu flipped him off. "Get your own!"

"Do you really wanna talk like that to someone my size?" the bear asked. Chitsu didn't even have to ask questions. She ran into the house in horror. Dammit, Gosu, why do you have to pick a fight with this guy of all people?

"Bing it on, bitch!" Gosu yelled. The bear tried to strike him with his axe, but Gosu ducked, leaving a huge split in the ground.

"You can't be serious, I'll squash you like a bug!" The bear lifted his hands up and was ready to crush Gosu. However, right before he was about to hammer down, a boy came in and kicked him in the head, sending him into a cliff. The body dropped down to the ground – it was Retasu.

Chitsu saw him from the window, and it was like love at first sight. "Wow, he's a hunk!"

"Who the hell are you?" Gosu asked. "And why are you here?"

Retasu had no time for talk. "I have no interest in you. Just give me your Dragon Ball."

Gosu wasn't surprised. "So you're going wish hunting, too? Well too bad!" Gosu flipped him off and stuck his tongue out at him. "You're gonna have to fight me for it!" Retasu wasn't intimidated.

Meanwhile, Teba and co. were flying to that exact location. But just then, the plane started crapping out.

"Hey, why is it slowing down?" Teba demanded. "Bobo, did you fill up the tank like I asked?"

"Yes sir." Bobo said nervously. "I grabbed that purple bottle and-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Teba yelled. "That wasn't the bottle of gas, that was my Purple Kool-Aid! I was wondering why it was gone, too!"

"We've been running on Kool-Aid?" Reina remarked. And right then, they nosedived. The plane came crashing down to the ground.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Bobo was thinking more clearly than Teba, though, and quickly grabbed the parachutes.

"Quick, put these on!" he said. He gave Reina and Teba each a bag. They all jumped out and pulled on the rip-chords as they watched the plane crash into the ground. Teba grabbed his walkie-talkie. "We have to tell Retasu!"

Back at the forest, Retasu was ready to fight, but then his walkie-talkie went off. "#Retasu, alert! We need you, now! Forget about the Dragon balls for now and help us!#" Teba said. "Yes sir." Retasu replied.

"You're lucky, for now." Retasu said, pointing at Gosu. He ran off into the woods.

"Yeah, you better run." Chitsu went back outside.

"Man that was close." She said. "Who was that guy?"

"I don't know, but I have a feeling we'll meet again." Gosu said. "He wanted my Dragon ball."

"Really?" Chitsu asked. "We oughta stay on our toes, then."

"Yeah." Gosu said. But then his expression suddenly changed. "Well, this food isn't gonna eat itself!"

How could he be so carefree? But that's not important. Who is this Lord Teba, and what will he bring in store for Gosu and Chitsu? Found out on the next Dragon Ball NG!

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