Chapter 9: Circuses and Video Games

Our heroes now had the four star ball, the two star ball, the six star ball, and the three star ball. That left only three more Dragon Balls! However, while the group was bickering among each other and fighting, Lord Teba and his crew had lied and cheated their way to the three Dragon balls that the good guys needed. Lord Teba was elated. He only needed four more Dragon Balls now. At this moment, he was back in his tower with his henchmen. He was looking at the radar, and knew that there was a bit of a predicament.

"Hmmm…it appears that the remaining four Dragon Balls are in the same spot and moving." Lord Teba deduced. "Then that must mean that someone else is after it."

Retasu grew suspicious. He knew that if the Dragon balls were all gathered together, then it must mean that kid that he tried to take the four star ball from had caught up. Retasu knew that the inevitable fight with him was drawing near.

"Sir, we should take precautions. I have a feeling that it won't be so easy to get the remaining Dragon Balls from them." Retasu said.

"Oh, come on, let's not be so hasty, now. If these guys are after the Dragon Balls and have managed to collect four, then that means they have radar – so we won't have to take any action to get them! They'll come to us!" Lord Teba concluded.

"That is true." Retasu said. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to train." Now Retasu knew he was going to have to fight that kid. He left Lord Teba's room and went to his usual training room. Even if the kid turned out to be weak, when he encountered him before, he was prepared to fight to keep his Dragon Ball. For all he knew, he could have been in over his head, but there was always the chance that the kid actually was going to put up a good fight, and he'd be a fool to ignore a true possibility.

"Man, that guy has been tenser than usual." Bobo said.

"Do you think he knows something we don't?" Reina asked.

"No, he's just weird." Teba dismissed. "Now, we wait. Go make me a sandwich, Bobo."

"But, I'm not very good at putting one together!" Bobo said.

"I DON'T CARE!" Lord Teba exclaimed. "Just make it, dammit!"

Bobo quickly ran into the kitchen.

"And you better not forget my Kool-Aid!" Saying that triggered another daydream. Teba was drooling as he thought of the Kool-Aid man pouring him endless glasses of delicious drinks. Those Dragon Balls couldn't come soon enough!

Gosu, Kansho and the gang continued their quest for the Dragon Balls. Chitsu was now taking over the driving duties, but she wasn't driving in the direction of the Dragon Balls. She looked at her GPS and was heading into the direction of a clothes store.

"Ugh, Chitsu, what the hell are you doing?" Gosu asked.

"Well, if you have to ask, I'm getting some new clothes!" Chitsu said.

Gosu, Panko, Kansho, and Yakimo collectively groaned. "Oh come on, can you control your little teenage hormones for one second?" Panko protested.

"Well would you rather me walk around naked?" Just as Gosu and all of them were about to say yes, Chitsu quickly took that back. "Okay, bad question. I just need clothes, 'kay?" They finally made it into the city, and Chitsu stepped out the car. "Now be good, boys." She said in a condescending voice.

"Man, she sure is something." Kansho said.

"The worst part is she knows she's hot, so she uses that to get her way." Gosu said.

"…and it works." Panko said, lighting a cigarette. Gosu and the rest of the guys stepped out the car and looked for a place to eat at. Panko was busy checking out the girls.

"Man, city chicks are the best!" Panko said.

"You can say that again!" Kansho replied.

Gosu found a fast-food restaurant. "Hey, let's go in here. Hopefully, by the time we're done Chitsu will be finished shopping."

"You must not hang out with girls that much." Kansho said. "She'll be in there for hours."

"Well then we'll just have to get a lot of food!" Gosu replied. They all stepped in. Panko, Yakimo, and Kansho all had a good idea of what they wanted to order, while Gosu was staring at the menu. Almost everything he came across to was added to what he wanted to order. After a few minutes, their orders were finished. Kansho and the rest had sat together while Gosu had to sit at a different table because of how huge his order. Kansho, Panko, and Yakimo just got the standard amount of food, while Gosu ordered practically the entire fucking menu. Gosu devoured his food as everyone else looked on in awe. Gosu finished eating the food in record time, wiping some food off his lip, and then let out a huge burp.

"Alright, I'm done. Let's go!" Gosu said.

"Unbelievable." Kansho said as they walked out. Gosu looked into the car window and noticed something weird – the Dragon balls were gone!

"What the hell happened to them?" Gosu asked. He grabbed the radar from the car to track the location. It was still in the area. Gosu and the others walked in the direction of the balls until eventually running into a…circus?

"What would a bunch of clowns want with Dragon balls?" Panko asked.

"Bigger noses, maybe?" Yakimo said.

Gosu marched into the circus tent. "Alright, which one of you motherfuckers has my dragon balls?" Gosu yelled.

"Geez, Gosu, are you trying to make a scene?" Panko asked. Several of the circus freaks looked up, startled by Gosu's intrusion.

"Well, anyone want to speak up?" Gosu asked. Kansho looked around, and then he found the Dragon Balls on display.

"Hey, Gosu, look!" Kansho pointed to a huge pedestal that had the three Dragon Balls at the top.

Gosu was relieved. "Heh, you guys got lucky!" Gosu climbed up the pole, but then a man walked up to him, grabbed him, and dragged him off.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Gosu asked. He looked up and saw a man in a suit and slick, gray hair. "Who are you?"

"I am Lance McPherson, and I run this circus." He replied. "Do you have any idea what you were about to do?"

"You're damn right I did! I was taking back what you stole!" Gosu answered back.

"My, my, how do I know it was yours? I just saw it lying in a car." Mr. McPherson said.

"Don't play dumb. You stole it!" Kansho said.

Mr. McPherson couldn't help but notice Gosu's tail. "Wow, that's peculiar…a tail. Hey, I'll tell you what, kid – I'll give you back your little orange balls if you decide to become a performer for me."

"You've got to be kidding!" Gosu said. "I'm not going to look like an idiot!"

"Come on! I'll dub you, 'The Monkey Boy!' I'm sure you'll be a hit!" Mr. McPherson said.

"Like I said – NO!" That was Gosu's answer and he wasn't going to say otherwise.

"Well then, I guess you don't want your toys back, then." Mr. McPherson said.

"Come on, Gosu, just do it." Kansho encouraged. "It's the only way. Don't worry, you'll live."

Gosu thought about it, and as much as he hated to go along with it, Kansho was right. That was the only way he'd get the Dragon Balls back.

"Alright, fine, I'll do your stupid show." Gosu said.

"Excellent! Now, come with me. I'll show you your outfit and where you need to go." Mr. McPherson said.

Outfit? Gosu thought. He already knew that whatever this performance was, it was going to make him look stupid enough, so having to do it in what was undoubtedly going to be a stupid outfit was pouring salt in the wound. Gosu looked around backstage and saw all kinds of freaks – people with three arms, one eye, animals with human faces; just about any weird shit you can imagine was in the this circus. Gosu didn't want to be grouped among these freaks. But he had to swallow his pride and get his Dragon balls back. Gosu was directed to a dressing room, where he saw the ridiculous clothes he had to wear. He had to wear a red cap, a yellow tie, a red shirt, and green pants, and had to wear a sheet of tiger fur around his waist. Gosu finished putting it on and looked in the mirror. It actually wasn't half bad. In fact, it was actually kinda cool.

"Eh, I guess it's not too bad." Gosu said.

Panko and the other two were leaving. "Oh man, this gonna be hilarious." Panko said.

Chitsu had finished shopping. She came out the mall in a new outfit. She now had a black mini-skirt, a white shirt that had "Hottie" written on it, and a black jacket. Panko, Kansho and Yakimo walked up to her.

"You've got to see this!" Panko said. "Gosu's in the circus!"

Chitsu was lost. "For what?" Chitsu asked.

"This dirtbag took the Dragon balls and the only way he'll give him back is if Gosu does a show for him." Kansho said.

Despite the fact that the Dragon balls were temporarily out of her grasp, this was something she had to see for herself. "Oh boy, that sounds ridiculous. I guess I oughta see it!" They all left and returned to the circus. Gosu's show was about to begin. They went into an auditorium with a bunch of seats set up. They decided to sit in the front row. There was a curtain covering most of the stage. Then, the lights went out. Mr. McPherson walked onto the stage with a microphone.

"Welcome, everyone! Thank you for coming to McPherson's Grand Circus! Today, we have an awesome show for you all – I'm sure if you've been to the jungle you've seen plenty of monkeys running around. Well, today, we'll be bringing the jungle to YOU!" McPherson walked off the stage, and the curtain rose, revealing a jungle. It was pretty realistic looking, with trees, grasses, and even sounds. Then, the sounds of a monkey could be heard. Out of nowhere, a boy with a tail – Gosu – swung in on a branch and jumped to the ground. Gosu looked completely uninterested. But he had a job to do. Gosu walked about with all of the mannerisms of your typical monkey. He was scratching himself all over the place and pounding his chest. He walked up to all of the other real monkeys and they all started jumping around and screaming.

Panko, Chitsu, Kansho, and Yakimo were trying their best not to laugh. Gosu saw the four of them trying to hold back their laughter, and it sunk in how embarrassing this was. Gosu remembered the next part of the act. A Lion's roar shook through the auditorium, and indeed a lion showed up. Gosu decided to take the gloves off and go all out on the lion. He ran up to it and kicked it in the face and jumped on it, scratching it up. Gosu then stomped his foot on the lion and raised his fist up while screeching. Mr. McPherson was confused. The crowd didn't know what to make of it initially, but their confusion turned into applause. The curtain descended while Mr. McPherson was outraged.

"Hey, kid, that wasn't in the act!" He said.

"I don't care! This whole thing was ridiculous!" Gosu said, throwing his clothes down. "I did what you asked - now give me back the Dragon balls."

"You can forget it, you didn't do what I told you to! Forget the 'Dragon balls,' hell, forget the circus – YOOUUUUUUUUU'RRRRREEE FIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEED!"

Gosu decided to take manners in his own hand. Gosu jumped up and kicked Mr. McPherson in the face. Then he ran out and jumped up to the top of the pedestal and took the three Dragon balls back. Now he had the three balls and the one around his neck again. Gosu ran out and saw Chitsu and the gang.

"Come on, let's go!" Gosu yelled. They all followed and ran with him.

"So, he gave it back?" Kansho asked.

"Uhhhh…yeah!" Gosu said. Hey, he didn't have to tell anyone he stole them back, did he? Gosu jumped back in the car and the rest of the crew followed.

"Oh man, that was some performance, Gosu!" Chitsu said, mockingly.

"Yeah, good job, monkey boy!" Kansho joked.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." Gosu said in shame. "Anyway, NO MORE STOPS, CHITSU!"

"Okay, okay, damn." Chitsu said as she drove off. She looked at the Dragon radar. "It's odd – the last three Dragon balls are all gathered in one spot."

"You think someone else is collecting the Dragon Balls?" Kansho asked.

"I know exactly who it is. That guy who came to us before we left, Chitsu." Gosu said.

"Oh, that hunk of a guy? I don't think he meant any trouble…"

"Dammit, Chitsu, he told me he would fight me for the Dragon ball!" Gosu said.

"Well maybe if you weren't so aggressive of all the fucking time, he wouldn't have told you he would fight you!" Chitsu snapped back.

"I need popcorn for this." Panko said. Kansho tossed him some. Hey, this is a gag story, after all, so he can just come up with random objects whenever it's convenient, right?

"Well maybe you should stop drooling over every guy you see!" Gosu said. Chitsu remained silent.

"Oh come on, that was boring!" Panko said, eating some popcorn.

"I agree, very anticlimactic, I'd have to give it a thumbs down." Kansho joked.

"Shut up." Gosu and Chitsu said in unison. They continued driving to their destination.

Lord Teba was in the control room of his tower, looking at the radar.

"Yes, they're coming closer! Reina, get the maze ready!" Teba said.

"Right!" Reina left the room. Lord Teba went to the intercom.

"Retasu, they're coming!" He announced.

Retasu heard him on the intercom. The time had come. He was prepared to fight this kid, if it's him and if he's as good he seemed to demonstrate. Retasu put his coat back on and stepped out of the room. He went to Lord Teba's throne room. "Sir, if it's who I think it is, let me fight him."

"You take yourself way too seriously. Having you just fight whoever this is won't be any fun!" Lord Teba said. "How about this, we put him through this maze, and if he wins, he'll fight you. Got it?"

Retasu should've figured that Teba would try something as silly as this. There was no use trying to get to him. "Very well."

Meanwhile, Gosu and the gang were drawing closer. Gosu, with his freakish eyesight, saw their destination.

"I see a huge tower!" Gosu said.

"These guys must have the Dragon balls, then." Chitsu said.

"If they're in a tower, they must have some sort of elaborate plan." Kansho said.

"If that's the case, I wouldn't mind giving them a good pounding for it!" Gosu said.

Chitsu just shook her head. At this point, she could see the tower, too. "Alright, let's get ready." Chitsu stopped the car. They all stepped up and looked at the tower. It was impossibly huge. Gosu put the Dragon balls in his pocket and looked around.

"Who the hell builds a tower this big in the middle of nowhere?" Gosu asked.

"Who cares, maybe he wants privacy." Yakimo said.

"Hey, if you have somethin' to say to me…" Gosu and Yakimo once again walked up to each other and stared each other down.

"Calm down, boys." Chitsu said. "You can kill each other after we get the Dragon balls." They all walked up to the tower, and then Gosu knocked on the door. It opened on its own.

"That's strange." Gosu said. They stepped in, and then the door closed on its own.

"Oh no, guys – do you think this is a haunted mansion?" Chitsu asked.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe." Kansho said. They both smiled at each other.

"Hey! Is anybody there? We don't wanna hurt you guys, we just want these Dragon Ball thingies!" Gosu explained.

"I'm afraid I can't let you have them." A voice said on the intercom. It was Lord Teba.

"Who's there?" Gosu asked.

"I'm Lord Teba. I own this tower. If you want the Dragon Balls, you have to go through this complex maze!" Lord Teba flicked a switch. In the bottom level, the lights turned on. The place resembled an arcade. There was a lit up sign that said, "Human Pac-Man."

"You're all going to have to complete this maze – HUMAN PAC-MAN!" Teba declared.

"Uh…what's Pac-Man?" Gosu asked.

Lord Teba was outraged. "Are you serious? Have you been living under a rock? It's only of the most iconic video games in history! My, I've never seen such an uncultured – urgh, that's not the matter at hand. I didn't expect to have to explain the rules. Retasu, hand me the Pac-Man manual." Retasu left and came back with a Pac-Man booklet. Retasu looked at the video screen and saw a group of five – and the one in the middle was him – the kid, Gosu! Retasu's eyes widened. It truly was time.

"Alright, the rules are as follows. All five of you will wear wrist bands that signify your lives. You have three lives in the game. You have to run through the maze and retrieve all of the "Pac-Dots" in order to win and advance to the next level. Once you complete all two levels, you will be given the Dragon balls! However, it won't be so easy – you have ghosts chasing after you. If you get hit by the ghosts, you lose a life. When you lose all three lives, you will be sucked into a jail cell! But, you do have a bit of an advantage – because on the four corners of the maze, you have "Power Pellets" and if you grab one, you'll be able to temporarily shield yourselves from the ghosts and kill them! But if all of you lose, then I get your Dragon Balls! Now get ready!"

"This is ridiculous." Gosu said.

"Well, whatever gets us the Dragon Balls." Chitsu said. Then, five wrists bands dropped from the ceiling. They all put them on.

"Well, let's do it, I guess." Gosu said. He walked up to the Pac-Man sign and pressed the start button. The Pac-Man jingle played and four ghosts appeared – one red, one pink, one blue, and one orange. The maze was filled with blocks and other obstacles. They all took deep breaths and ran into the maze.

They all ran around grabbing as many Pac-Dots as they could. Gosu in particular was running extremely fast and getting a plethora of dots and dodging the ghosts. Chitsu was helpless, but she was trying as best as she could. Kansho saw here and grabbed her and decided to carry her through the maze. He ran towards one of the corners and grabbed a Power Pellet. A shield was put around him and kicked the red ghost and continued retrieving dots. Yakimo wasn't paying attention, however, and ran into a corner that didn't have a pellet. He tried to run, but the sections of the maze were so narrow. He was cornered by the blue ghost, and the blue ghost hit him. Yakimo was now down to two lives. Gosu was cornered by a ghost, and being hasty and battle-ready, he kicked it and lost a life.

"You idiot!" Chitsu yelled.

"Hey, I didn't know that just touching them would hurt you!" Gosu yelled while running. He grabbed a power pellet and decided to take revenge. He ran up to the orange ghost that cornered him and kicked the shit out of him. The red Ghost had returned and gone after Yakimo. Kansho saw this and tried to run after him to save him, but then the Blue Ghost appeared and hit him, bringing him down to two lives. Yakimo was attacked by yet another ghost, now having only one life left. Gosu, whose Power Pellet shield was still activated, kicked the ghost. Then, another ghost ran towards him. Gosu, thinking hastily, ran into the other direction and ran through a chamber that sent him to the other side of the room! This was an interesting discovery, as it gave him somewhat of an advantage. Panko was toughing it out as best as he could, but he only had one life left. But then, he managed to grab the third pellet and kicked the Ghosts away from him. Gosu went after a few more Pac-Dots, but Yakimo was once again the prey of two ghosts Yakimo tried to run the other way, but there was a ghost on both sides. Gosu ran as fast as he could, but he was too late – Yakimo got hit by both ghosts. He was out of lives.

"Yakimo!" Kansho yelled.

"Well, that's too bad!" Lord Teba said through the intercom. "I'm afraid you have to go to jail now!" A hole opened in the ceiling and sucked Yakimo up. The ceiling closed, with no sign of him.

"Dammit!" Kansho yelled.

"Don't worry, I'll get us through this." Gosu said. He grabbed the last pellet and kicked the pink ghost, and then grabbed the last few dots, advancing them to stage two!

"Well, well, you guys are better than I thought! On to stage two!" Lord Teba announced. A door opened with a sign that said "Stage Two" on it. Gosu, Kansho & Chitsu, and Panko walked in. Stage two was almost the same as stage one.

"Oh come on, you've got to be better than this!" Gosu taunted.

"Oh, don't get cocky now. The ghosts are much faster this time around, and you'll have the same number of lives you had at the end of the last game!" Teba said.

"That's not fair!" Chitsu yelled.

"Well, that's the rules." Gosu said. "No problem! Start the game!"

As you wish…" Lord Teba said. The jingle came on, and the game began. Gosu once again retrieved the dots, but the ghosts were indeed faster. Gosu ran at full speed and even dodged some of the ghosts. Panko however, didn't have much luck against these faster ghosts, and got hit, losing his last life. Now he got sucked in through the ceiling.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out of there!" Gosu yelled. Gosu grabbed one of the power pellets and kicked two of the Ghosts. One of the ghosts attacked Kansho, leaving him with one life.

"Kansho, stay on your toes!" Gosu advised. "These guys are tough!" Gosu said as he kicked another ghost. However, his shield was down, so he lost a life, leaving him with one as well. "Shit!"

Kansho decided the best thing to do was to work with Gosu. He ran up to him. "Okay, I'll follow you, got it?"

"Right!" Gosu answered. They both ran through the maze, grabbing as much dots as they could. Gosu grabbed a power pellet and kicked any ghost that got in his way. However, one of the previous ghosts returned and attacked Kansho! He lost his last life! The ceiling once again opened and sucked Kansho and Chitsu in!

"Well, well, it would appear that you're the only one left!" Lord Teba said. "And with only a single life left, I doubt that you can make it!"

"I'll show you!" Gosu said. He ran immediately to the power pellet and kicked the red Ghost that took Kansho out. Then he caught up to the pink ghost and kicked him, too. Gosu had only a few power pellets left, and they were all in one section. Gosu ran around the maze, trying to get to it, but a ghost ran in his way. Gosu had to turn to the left, and stayed in the corner. However, the orange ghost ran up to him. Gosu remembered the opening from before. Gosu turned around and ran, but he the opening closed and he ran into the wall! Then, to finish him off, the orange ghost hit him, taking his final life!

"HAHAHA! You lose!" The Dragon Balls are mine!" Lord Teba yelled. "Quick, Reina, get down there!" Reina grabbed a mech and jumped down to the Pac-Man floor. Gosu was pissed. He was cheated by Lord Teba. The mech came down, and Gosu, broken, handed the four Dragon balls to her. Then, the ceiling sucked him up.

Gosu flew up to a room and then the floor closed. He looked up, and Kansho, Chitsu, Panko, and Yakimo were there with him. They were in a jail cell. Gosu felt so guilty. He could barely even look them in the eye.

"I'm sorry, guys. I failed you." He said. Chitsu felt sorry for Gosu for feeling guilty. She didn't want to see the usually cheery and rambunctious Gosu down like that.

"Don't worry, Gosu, you tried as hard as you could." Chitsu said, trying to encourage him.

"Dammit, now we're stuck here, and we don't have the Dragon balls!" Gosu said. "This has all been pointless! I dragged you all along with me for nothing!"

Kansho realized that they weren't enemies anymore. Both of their objectives were gone, after all. "It wasn't all pointless." He said. "Even if I came kinda late for the party, it was pretty fun driving along with you, and I found someone who's stronger than me."

Panko was disgusted with all of this sentimental bullshit. "I can't take this anymore. Can you idiots shut the hell up? I have a plan, y'know."

"Then why didn't you speak up earlier?" Chitsu yelled.

"I was waiting until everyone was here!"

"So you had no confidence in us?" Chitsu asked.

"No, it's not that – I just figured that the guy would do something screwy." Panko replied.

"So, what do you have planned?" Gosu asked.

"Well…"

Meanwhile, Lord Teba was elated. He finally had all seven Dragon Balls! "This day is glorious! Retasu, looks like you weren't needed after all."

Retasu didn't share the same sentiments. He was looking into the monitor and overheard what the group was talking about. Reina came up with the four balls. Teba was so happy, he kissed her!

"Uh, sir, don't get carried away…" She said, nervously. Hell, he even kissed Bobo on the cheek!

"I'm just so happy! I finally have all seven Dragon balls! A LIFETIME'S SUPPLY OF KOOL-AID, HERE I COME!"

Retasu snapped. "Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that this was all for Kool-Aid?"

"…In addition to world domination, genius!" Lord Teba quickly responded. Retasu shrugged. He was still an idiot.

Back in the cell…

"I may act like a human, but I'm still a dog." Panko said. "Haven't you noticed that the floor is just sand?"

"So what are you gonna do?" Gosu asked.

"Dig deep enough into the ground that I can slip under this cell. It's clumsily made, after all – the bottom of the bars are above the floor." Panko said. He bent down and started digging quickly. He eventually dug enough sand out that he was able to make a good opening in the cell!

"So you weren't so useless after all!" Chitsu said.

"Thanks!" Gosu said.

Panko slipped under the opening and unlocked the cell. "C'mon, let's go!"

Retasu saw everything that happened. "Lord Teba, they've escaped!"

His celebration was now cut short. "What?"

"The dog dug them out. They're headed to our level!" He explained.

"Crap! Well, Retasu, you're going to have to fight him off." Lord Teba said. It was time.

"Leave the Dragon balls here." Retasu said.

"But-"

"Just leave them!" Retasu commanded. "This might get messy, so you get out of here. If you have the Dragon balls, they'll go after you. At least I can efficiently keep them guarded."

"Yes, g-good thinking, Retasu." Lord Teba said. He left the room.

Gosu and the gang ran up the tower and eventually made it to the control room, where the Dragon balls were. Gosu kicked the door open and saw Retasu standing there.

"It's you!" Gosu said. He instantly recognized him from before.

"And so we meet again." Retasu said, smirking. "I'm assuming you want the Dragon balls?"

"That's right! Now hand them over, or I'll fight you for it!" Gosu said.

"Are you sure you're willing to do that?" Retasu asked.

"Damn right!" Gosu said.

"Well, that leaves us no choice." Retasu said. He took his coat off, revealing a blue tank top and puffy black pants. "I'll indeed fight you. If you beat me, you get the Dragon balls."

Gosu was confident. "I'll kick your ass, kid!"

And so the fight begins. Will Gosu be able to defeat Retasu or will he be overtaken? You don't want to miss the next Dragon Ball NG!

Previous Episode - Dragon Ball NG Chapter 8: Complete King Elefonto's Castle

Next Episode - Chapter 10: The Great Ape Attacks!