Dragon Ball NG Chapter 4: Bonnie & Clyde 2.0

Retasu was running back to see what Lord Teba needed, and he couldn't help but be distraught by something.

That kid…I could've sworn he had a tail. He was trying to remember the short encounter he had with him as vividly as he could. I'm sure of it! But that's impossible! I thought I was the only person in this world with a tail...

Retasu regained his focus and was subsequently surprised by what he saw. Well, not really. He saw a demolished plane near the ground and Lord Teba, Bobo, and Reina landing near it. Unlike his two colleagues, he always had a large dislike for Teba's incompetence and was far more unruly than Bobo and Reina. Little did any of them know, though, Retasu was planning on using the Dragon Balls for himself, and just saw these three as a necessary evil for getting to them.

Fools…

"Oh good, you're here, Retasu." Lord Teba said. "Do you still have that spare Capsule with you?"

"Did you really send me here just because you couldn't fly the plane correctly?" Retasu snapped. "The Dragon Ball was in my grasp!"

"LOOK!" Teba snapped back. "I've had it up to here with your attitude! We needed your help – we can't get anywhere without any transportation!"

Retasu wanted so badly to tell him what was really on his mind, but he knew that wouldn't be smart. As much as he wanted to, he didn't have the resources that Lord Teba had. Sure, he didn't have a problem with finding the balls on foot if he had to, but Teba had radar – without that it would probably take years to find the Dragon Balls. Retasu pulled the capsule out of his pocket and tossed it, revealing a spare Jet. Just as Teba was about to step into the plane, he was overcome with motion sickness.

"Oh man, excuse me-" He quickly ran into a bush and threw up. Retasu was incredibly annoyed with his shenanigans and was tempted to just operate the plane and desert them. Meanwhile, little did Teba know, he had thrown up all over a bear, and now he was running away from the bushes like a little bitch as the bear emerged.

"Mommy!" He exclaimed in fear. Bobo and Reina were also scared, although Retasu remained composed.

"Look, I'm sorry Mr. Bear, I didn't realize you were there an-" Then he saw a flash, and then the bear's head fell off of its neck, and when he turned, he saw Retasu behind his body. "See, that's why I'm willing to put up with your attitude, Retasu. You always get the job done and are more than willing to the messy stuff." Retasu just shrugged.

"Dammit, Teba, thanks to your little dilemma we probably could be losing that kid now!" Retasu said.

"Hey, don't speak to me that way! You are to address me as LORD Teba, got it?" Teba demanded. "Gosh, it's always one step forward, two steps back with you. Now, excuse me while I change my clothes."

Dammit, this search was going to take too long for Retasu.

Back at the forest…

Gosu finished eating the tiger, and now he was ready to leave. "Alright Chitsu, we can leave now. We're going to where, again?"

"The Capsule Corporation in West City." Chitsu said as she was preparing the motorcycle. "That's preeeeety far from here. We're probably gonna have to stop to get gas at some point." Chitsu got on the bike. "Hop on!"

Gosu just stared at her. "What?" she asked.

"Pre-trip quickie?" He asked with that dumb look on his face.

Chitsu had already heard enough of his humor. "Just get on, idiot."Gosu got on the motorcycle. Just as Chitsu was getting ready to leave, she felt something weird. Yup, Gosu was grabbing both of her boobs. Steam was practically shooting from her ears.

'YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!" She screamed. Gosu quickly let got off. Lord knows he didn't want to incur her wrath again.

"Well, apparently I'm gonna have to set some ground rules – you can grab my waist to hold on, but if your hands even slightly slip above that, consider yourself thrown off this thing, got it?" She demanded.

"Okay, okay." Gosu said, trying to hold back laughter.

Chitsu almost forgot – the house. She quickly got off the bike and pressed a button on the side of the house to return it to Capsule form. "Phew, that was a close one." And now, they were off. They zipped away from the forest and headed to Capsule Corp.

Meanwhile, Lord Teba had finally finished applying his lotions and colognes and was ready to leave. "Alright, we're going to range 5113." He said as he was getting into the plane. Retasu, Bobo, and Reina all stepped into the plane as it shot up in the air. Teba quickly flew to the range and landed to find…nothing.

"GODDAMMIT!" He cursed. "Where are they? Retasu, you shouldn't have left!"

And now, Retasu was thoroughly angry. "What the hell are you talking about? You were the one that told me to leave because you can't even operate a damn plane correctly! And now you're getting mad at me for simply following orders?"

Retasu was fuming. Reina and Bobo were scared, and so was Lord Teba. Even though he had a massive superiority complex, he knew that Retasu could snap him like the twig he is. "Okay, maybe I was out of line." He said in an unusually subdued voice for him. "I'm sorry." Retasu, Reina, and Bobo were all dumbfounded. Lord Teba, admitting he was wrong? And apologizing? Hell had frozen over!

"Okay, now it's time to – Oh crap, I forgot the radar!" Reina and Bobo fainted while Retasu shook his head. Shit, he'd probably have better luck going along with that kid with the tail.

Speaking of which, Gosu and Chitsu were zipping past all sorts of locations on the way to Capsule Corp. "So, how long do you think it'll take to get there?" Gosu asked.

"It might just take a couple of days…" Chitsu said. "But don't worry, I know your appetite. We'll stop a couple of times for food."

"Oh man, you shouldn't have mentioned food. I'm hungry already…"Gosu groaned. Chitsu would've fainted if she wasn't driving the motorcycle. Just as she was driving, the bike came to a screeching halt. Chitsu nearly flew off.

"What's going on?" Chitsu asked. Then she looked at the Gas meter and it was empty. "But how? I thought there was more than that!"

"Damn, we're out of gas?" Gosu was dumbfounded. "Why the hell didn't you fill it up?"

"I didn't realize it was this low you idiot!" Chitsu retorted. "Damn, now we're stuck here. We don't have any gas OR money."

Gosu realized something – they were near a village. "Hmm…I know how we can fix our money problem…" Gosu said. He pointed at the village and Chitsu immediately knew what he was planning to do.

"Look, if you think we're gonna steal from there, you're crazy." Chitsu said.

"Well, what else do you have in mind?" Gosu asked. "Well, then again, I suppose some men in the village could use some…favors."

Chitsu winced. That was enough to convince her to go along with his plan. "Fine, but you better make sure you know what you're doing, got it?"

"I'm gonna have to find a way to sneak around. There are a lot of people there, after all." Gosu thought about it, and then turned to Chitsu. "How good are you at faking seizures?"

Chitsu was revolted. "Now look, I don't want to have anything to do with this! I'm not gonna embarrass myself out there!"

"Well, would you rather do the other option?" Gosu asked.

Chitsu realized there was no use in arguing. "Fine, I'll do it."

Gosu and Chitsu ran towards the village and walked into the center of the street. All of a sudden, Chitsu dropped to the ground and started shaking and screaming.

"HEY! THIS GIRL NEEDS HELP!" Gosu yelled. Everyone in the village turned their attention to them. People ran up to Chitsu trying to help, and then Gosu ran away from the commotion and pick-pocketed some people on the way out. He looked around and found the town bank. People were leaving because they heard that a girl was having a seizure, and just to make sure even the employees would leave, Gosu yelled, "HEY, A GIRL OUTSIDE IS HAVING A SEIZURE! DON'T BE ASSHOLES, GO OUT THERE AND HELP HER!"

All of the bank tellers left and then Gosu jumped behind the counter and went into the back. He kicked open the door to the safe and found a room filled with money. Gosu pulled his bag out the pocket and poured tons of Zeni bills into it. He quickly left the room, and little did he know someone was still there.

"STOP, THIEF!" He yelled.

Shit! Gosu thought as he ran out of the bank. The man pulled down an alarm and chased after Gosu. Gosu busted through the doors, tossed the bag into the air and kicked the man into the door. He ran away, and now he was the center of attention. The man who he kicked managed to gather his strength to get up and pointed at him. "That kid stole money from the bank, get him!" Everybody in the town chased after Gosu. He caught the bag in the air and jumped over everyone. Then, he grabbed Chitsu and carried her on his shoulder and high-tailed (no pun intended) it out of there. Gosu ran as fast as he possibly could to the motorcycle and tossed Chitsu and the bag of money on there. And then, using all of his strength he pushed the motorcycle forward. He actually managed to move it pretty fast, too.

"Where's the gas station?" Gosu asked.

Chitsu looked at her GPS. "Let's see…just keep going straight ahead." Gosu pushed as hard as he could, and after a few minutes, he successfully pushed the bicycle to the gas station. Chitsu filled the tank with gas and to make sure Gosu didn't try anything silly, she paid for it, too. When she turned around, Gosu was gone. He was in the store, buying a bunch of junk food.

"…figures." Chitsu said. "Is there ever a time when you're not hungry?"

"Nope, ever since I've been a kid I've always had to have food." Gosu said. "I'm surprised I'm not a fat pig by now."

"You must have high metabolism." Chitsu said.

"What's that?"

"…never mind." Chitsu said, shaking her head. When she thought about it, she wasn't particularly surprised that he didn't know what metabolism was. She sat down on the motorcycle and motioned for Gosu to get on, too. Gosu was busy eating chips. "GET IN!" Gosu almost dropped his bag of chips.

"Alright, alright! Shit!" Gosu complained. He got on the motorcycle, and they both took off.

Meanwhile, in the village, the citizens were in disbelief. They had never had someone rob a place that easily before. They knew that those guys had to pay for their actions, but how?

"Leave it to me!" Said a guy with long hair. A short kid who also had long hair followed him.

Just then, all of the girls lost their minds. "Kansho, I knew you'd be there to help us!" is what came from the mouths of most of them.

"I assure you, I'll make sure those two give us our money back." Kansho said sternly. "I'll pound them to a pulp and take all of their possessions." Kansho pulled a capsule out and released a car from it. "Alright, they were on a motorcycle, right?" Kansho pressed a button to activate a tracking system that would track down specific engines of certain vehicle types. He entered in a code for motorcycles and saw a red dot moving at a fast pace. "Over there!" he said. "Come on, Yakimo, I want you to watch this so you can learn some techniques!" Yakimo, the little kid, hopped in the car.

"Good luck, Kansho!"

"I love you, Kansho!"

"Come back safely!"

"Don't worry, I will." Kansho flashed the peace sign as he took off.

By this point, Lord Teba and co. and flown back to his tower. They were observing the location of the Dragon Balls, and saw that the four star ball was now moving at a fast pace.

"Hmmm…" Lord Teba thought. "That one is moving really fast. I suppose we should forget about that one and focus on the ones that are in a stable location."

We'd already have it if it weren't for you, idiot. Retasu thought. He was still hung up on what happened earlier.

"Sir, might I suggest that we get a few cans of gas?" Bobo asked.

"That would be a good idea. Just make sure you don't fill the tank with my Kool-Aid this time!" Teba said. "And that reminds me, I ran out because of that little incident. Retasu, do you mind getting me a carton of Purple Kool-Aid?"

Retasu was shocked. He was being relegated to fetching his Kool-Aid? That was a task for his two other, incompetent little monkeys. But he knew there was no use in protesting, so he just accepted it. "Yes, sir." Retasu said, reluctantly.

"I'm only giving you this silly task so you can learn not to get fresh with me again." figures. Secretly, he just didn't want to get all sacred again. Retasu left the tower and paced towards the grocery store.

Teba was still feeling kinda scared. Reina decided to ease the tension. "So man, Dragon Balls. Who came up with that name? I feel bad for whatever Dragon they subjected that to!" Huh? Everyone stood in the room in silence.

"I don't get it." Lord Teba said. Bobo went up to him and whispered the meaning in his ear.

"Oh." Lord Teba said. "I guess that's amusing." He had to feign apathy, for he ran into the corner and got his laughs out. I guess it really was funny to him. He walked from the corner and regained his composure.

"Okay, after I get a nice glass of Kool-Aid, we'll head towards the other Dragon Balls." He said.

Meanwhile, Kansho was driving, dead set on his task on finding our two little thieves – Gosu and Chitsu. He was looking intently at the radar as he was driving.

"Mark my words, I'll find you." He said. "You won't even see it coming."

Gosu and Chitsu were driving quickly to Capsule Corp. They had no idea about what was going on behind the scenes. Whether it was Kansho closing in on them, or Lord Teba trying to get the other Dragon balls that they were also looking for, it looked like the shit was about to hit the fan. How will these events unfold? Find out on the next Dragon Ball NG!

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